h3llo

2008-03-07T01:09:00.002+08:00

I'm bored..went to eat lunch with ah hong at ghim moh..we ate roasted duck rice with a plate of roasted meat..hah...so what to do next?..i suggested to go IT show at Suntec..so we went..finding carpark was quite a problem..but anyway we walked around the IT fair and suntec..bought a bag for my sis..then later go bert house...then go jurong east central..chevron..after which..pick eng ghee up from the bustop opp. yusof..then go bukit merah central eat fishball noodle haha..slack around..then go IMM walk around...

After arriving home and taking a good shower, went to airport to fetch my father...then back home again...I guess meeting ruoping..tammie bert vic and kel for dinner tomorrow...sat go zoo with my friend and going for the jamie kidd thing..then go michelle b.day party..I'm trying to occupy myself with so many things nah...doing as many things as possible to keep my mind pre-occupied and to just enjoy this one week of freedom i have left...

But the feeling is always there no matter what I do..

2008-03-06T09:17:00.002+08:00

Stayed at home the whole morning yesterday just using the internet...so bored..I feel I need to do a lot of things just to distract myself...but looks like it's not working...ask wenhao and yonghong if want to go out..so we went to bedok blk 85 to eat..a lot shops close..bad time and it's raining cars and lorries...stayed there chit chat till the rain got smaller..then we couldn't decide where to go next but ended up at hougang...decided to go serangoon gardens...went to church to use toilet first ha ha ha...cold weather is like that i guess..ha ha..talk to pauline for a while =)

Hang out at Coffee bean..the hot choc is bad..so is the carrot cake..bump into jonathan went going back..wenhao need to meet his gf at JP 6pm...so send him to JP then go home..Hong come my home use internet..then we 3 met up again to eat botak jones near my home!! there's BoTaK JOnes near my home!!! COol! ha ha...I'm crazy..the cajun chicken is more tender than the one at clementi..and the burger is tender and good too..more than half the coffeshop is eating Botak jones..cool..guess the make over is good...

1 more week to NS...I can seriously do this everday if i have friends to accompany me..I just need to enjoy this freedom..the driving..I just want to occupy myself with as many things as possible if possible..

2008-03-04T18:27:00.002+08:00

WHY can't SINGAPOREANS show some grace and compassion??!!?? Why am I receiving all this bad ass attitudes from everywhere?!? About 1 mth ago..call AA to about the car batt problem..seem so unhappy that i call them more than 2 or 3 times? She say..Sir u just called on sunday..I say just change the battery not long ago..the lady say maybe is not the batt problem..and say! "BUT!!" we will still send the technician down..WTH!?! I call for assistance..u mean there's still a but?? wad else can I say..the guy came down..so grumpy and unhappy as if I owe him money..He said the battery is faulty..and by right only AA member which is my Father is allowed to ask for assistance..so if my father overseas..car break down..I cannot ask for assistance??!?! absurd..are their heads made of wood or what? lol..
then yesterday..car broke down..towed to some workshop at toh guan..they say some part is faulty..today went to collect the car..and when gear changing..the car jerks a lot..send bert to his camp..went back to the workshop..only to receive more bad attitude..the guy say my driving have problem..need to accelerate more before changing the gears..i see the way he accelerate is just overworking the car..the car is 16 yrs old..U can't just pump it like a 2 year old...He say no problem..
I'm just totally pissed because of the there's no grace..no kindness..no help but just saying it's your fault and I repaired it perfectly..it doesnt help went i pay 260 bucks just to get this kind of bad service..I can't stand it..why can't Singaporeans be more gracious..more patient..more giving.. less judgemental and stop jumping on each other....why??!!?!?!?!? just see all those cars who just don't give way..when the car broke down...the poor drivers who can't change lanes..because of this selfishness...what's wrong with singaporeans ???!! I just can't take it...so what if you're not number 1??..so what if you're not up there?? It's just too stressful and crazy to live here...

2008-03-02T22:59:00.002+08:00

I'm so bored...so i'm going to add another post..ahah...Went to Church in the morning today..After service, we intended to eat Hock Lam beef noodle but ended up eating Magaret Drive Chicken Rice..then went to NtUC at the area as my mum have 30 bucks of NTUC voucher..haha..buy marsh mallows..choc..cranbeeerrry juice..errm..Uncle tobbies..
Met bert vic and kel at westmall at 4..we went to coffee bean to chiill and catch up with each other...that sums up my day I guess...
Though sometimes I can't find words to say...hearing your laughter and voice is enough for me =)

2008-03-02T20:12:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to BBTC..Bethesda Bedok-Tampines Church..Tony Anthony really hit everyone hard..How can we be as Christians be not proclaiming the gospel?!?!? It's the command of God! We have no authority..no right to deprive others..our friends..our family..the people around us of the good news..of their salvation..How can we be like the titanic survivors on the lifeboats..in our comfort zone and just see the rest drowning in the freezing ocean? How can we defy God's command? How can we say we are grateful to Jesus for what he had done on the cross and say we love Him when we didn't even obey his commands to go out to the world to proclaim the gospel of salvation?!? How can we neglect his command? how dare we?!?

Suddenly..it dawns on me that I've not share the gospel to my friends..the people around me..I'm always afraid what me friends would think..afraid they will feel offended..afraid they will feel that I just want to win their souls..wanting them to be saved..I'm afraid as a Christian..i'm afraid did not walk the talk..did not set a good example..I'm afraid..I'm timid..But I forget I have the Holy Spirit in me..The Gospel itself is the power of God..The holy spirit can give me the power the boldness...the wisdom and strength to say the right thing..the truth..the whole truth about the gospel..All I have to do is to pray and surrender everything to God..have I done that?

Yes..to proclaim the gospel..there may be negative comments..you risk everything..but Jesus say we have to take up our cross and follow Him..we will suffer..we may receive all the negative things..sometimes we may feel discouraged..but we must never give up coz we know He is with us always..yes..salvation is free..but there's a cost following Jesus..if it means being the odd one out..being ostricised for our faith..for spreading the gospel..we have to do it!! Just do it..Jesus had risked everything..suffered so much on the cross for us...what are our sufferings compared to His?? I need to get out of my comfort zone..and just do it with His strength!

2008-02-29T21:28:00.002+08:00

Went to Np in the afternoon again lol..had south buona vista road duck rice with Mr chee..Mr Chua Kp..Mr Foo..wint and 2 other german intern students..then Mr chee went for car inspection before driving us back to Np..

I drove back home..chatted with siyan online and decided to drive to her home at yishun to find her..don't know why today so blur..she tell me ave 6 but i thought ave 7..in the end found her place..then went all the way down to NTU as she wants to collect some stuff from the students service centre..took quite a while coz i'm not so sure how to go..in the end..we look at the map and went down pioneer road then to pioneer north road..jalan bahar and then NTU..aiyah I'm some road idiot..don't know what's got into me..going back from NTU..i go PIE(Tuas)..baba bobo!!!..don't know what i'm thinking!! ha ha ha..so I go pioneer road again and to PIE...then to BKE..to Diary Farm exit and at last back home..i'm just crazy..drove for 3 hours..
But the long journey can chat a lot with siyan..which I think it's very good after not seeing each other for like so long..then we walk to westmall coz siyan want to eat porridge..then ask her come my home to see my thai photos before she go home...

Yeah good..today I found something to do..ya..i waste petrol..go to yishun then go to NTU..but it's okay..what is 3 hours on the road compared to malaysia or thailand..I know I always go the wrong way...but I'll learn from it..i hope..ha ha ha..Still coughing..just need to stop...

2008-02-28T22:58:00.002+08:00

I guess I'm blogging everyday now..I'm just so bored with nothing to do..Once I go into NS..it would be inactive again I suppose. So I woke up in the morning..use the internet..use hi5..and tried to change the CSS code to customize my profile..I actually destroyed my whole profile!!..don't know what to say..now can only use profile skin to cover up..well..

After lunch..I felt so bored..so I drove to Np..for what? I don't know..seriously..Wint is not at her table..called her also never pick up..chatted a bit with Mr Chua KP and Dr Raj..Circled around the school..sit down in canteen 2..walked aimlessly around..In the end..decided to call ying..talk to her for awhile..I think I shall stop disturbing my friends in thailand..haha..they are busy and need to work..where to next? I went to West Coast Park..put half an hour parking coupon..haha..walked around and feed the sun..pump petrol..then went back home...use labtop again..chat with grace and she ask me if want to go to the ZOO next week..and I obliged..I'm so bored to the point that I suppose anything goes..

At around 6 in the evening,,my sis end her tuition and I ask her if she want to go anywhere..In the end..we went WCP!!..hahaha..drove to WCP again..this time climb the spider web..and did all those obstacles and balancing stuff..stayed there for like half and hour or less as it starts to rain..so went back for dinner..I think I'm crazy..baba bobo already! Drive around aimlessly..go WCP just to play then go back home...I just feel so lost without them..without their company..no matter how I try to find something to do..It just doesn't seem right..maybe i just need some time to adapt back to life here..

2008-02-27T22:04:00.002+08:00

I did not do anything much today except coughing the whole day..my throat is so itchy..can't control the coughing..the phlegm is coming out but when can this coughing just stop? Internet explorer gave a lot of problems..always hang..After reading some forum..i figured out it was the add-ons giving the problems..so i disabled all the non-verified add-ons..but still can't work..some guy wrote about disabling yahoo add-ons..so i disabled all yahoo add-ons and BINGO!! IE 7 can function properly without hanging all the time..so irritating..
Finally solved this irritating problem!! There's a new version of Windows Live Messenger now and hotmail is real laggy!..

Chatted with pooh in the morning for a while..exchanged hi5 messages with ying..ate REX chicken rice for lunch..played guitar till my fingers start to feel painful..watch a bit of TV and watch "L" with my sis..the starting was quite draggy but after that it was quite funny and touching too =)
I'm still trying to get back to the norm..to lead a normal Singapore life..but in 2 weeks time..Everything will change..I'll be serving the nation..but to all guys out there who have gone through it, they say it's just a "NoRm". But to me, it's a new phase of life..a new challenge..it's not a norm..it's 2 years of missing the people back there..it's 2 years of waiting to go back there to see them again...

2008-02-26T21:30:00.002+08:00

Went down to town in the late morning to collect my army specs..first time wearing black plastic specs haha cool yeah..then went to PS..walk around and ate some not so delicious hot dog..the bread is too hard to bite..like some super hard rock..I am so bored so called M and talked to her too..then call jojo if she free for lunch..ha ha ha =p

She say go Toa Payoh for lunch so went there..bought some missy doughnuts from PS first..on the way ying called me to ask if Daow received the parcel talk half-way then got cut off...don't know why..I walked around Toa Payoh while waiting for jojo to come..haha..and at last we met..it's been so long since i saw jojo..guess she look the same except for the longer hair haha..

So told her about my thai trip..what i do and the people I met..yeah..and she told me about her Desaru trip and BanAnaA boat experience hahahaha...after lunch and a long chat..we went to library..she study and i read new paper..ying called to talk to me again..my throat is real itchy..can't control the coughing..it's so irritating..went back to rest first while she continue to study..

Daow got the parcel finally!! Oh man..I'm so relieved..some guy opened the box first..fortunately, everything was still in there..alright what am i going to do this week man? got to wait for my cough to recover before I can go out to work out or maybe learn motor...

2008-02-26T09:00:00.003+08:00

I was talking rubbish with my sister yesterday and I came out with this NONSENSE that rhymes..
ha ha ha....
Puberty brings me jubilee..jubilee creates liberty, do you want to live in New York City in peace and harmony?? really?? ha ha ha

I can sing it using the tune of some"jubilee" song..I can't remember the lyrics though...ha ha ha
=)

2008-02-25T08:37:00.002+08:00

How to fight this feeling? I can't fight this feeling anymore..I can't control my feelings..what can I do? How can I stop feeling this way!? It's crazy! I tried occupying my time..tried to distract myself..tried to do as many things as possible..but it's not helping..Someone tell me how?

2008-02-24T18:37:00.003+08:00

Now I understand what is like to miss someone so badly...To miss someone from another country..a far away place..the feeling just engulfs me..it's overwhelming...It's worst when I've got nothing to do but stare at this screen and type..
Went to church today..ate breakfast with uncle david and told him about my trip..met up with leonard after quite a long time and also all the chinese side youth..asked sarah to pass the keychains to the young adults group..gave keychains to my sis's friends..catching up with everyone and most importantly worshipping God..I'm really grateful to Him for keeping me safe throughout my 10 days overseas..
After service, my sis and mum were deciding where to eat..hock lam beef noodle or people's park food centre..in the end we went to the food centre opp. SGH..had ju kueh..claypot rice..it's been so long since i ate claypot rice where u can pour your own oil and dark sauce stir it yourself..then went back hme to rest..feel better now but the coughing is still a little bad..

2008-02-23T10:43:00.002+08:00

I feel so sick now..my coughing just is real bad..my body is feeling so tired..guess it's fatigue..I cant stop the coughing..wonder if the medicine works..Went to carecell yesterday at Sarah's place..it lasted rather long..after that i was really very tired..really thank God i could drive home safely..i knocked the curb when turning out of her house..really shack already but my mind is only thinking of them..i just want to reach home as fast as possible..the tiredness feeling is a bit like u drink then drive..a bit floating feeling..but i don't drink drive..hahaha..Really thank God that everything is okay..that i still have enough alertness to drive..

2008-02-21T07:32:00.002+08:00

Coming back S'pore make me feel so lost..i miss all my friends and the 2 villages I went to..there seems to be a void in my heart..The feeling is overwhelming..no i don't want to emo..but i miss them so much...2 years of NS coming up seems so like 10 years to me now..I can't control my emotions..
I've been waking up 6.30 everyday since i step into thailand....even now in S'pore..haha
Drove to the POSB to change my passbook yesterday..then drove to a coffeshop near kel's hse to eat fishball bee hoon for breakfast ..they give a lot of fishball and bee hoon for 2.5o..had teh O siu dai..then afternoon drove to NP to meet wint for lunch and talk to esther about my thai trip..went to Market to eat..met Yonghong at blk 44 talked for quite a while..

Went home after that..evening send my mum to carecell at church..Had a hearty chat with pei shen lao shi in church..he gave me a lot encouragement and gave me a good listening ear..If it's God's will that i can get my motor license..then even if it takes me to learn harder than others..i will persevere..sometimes ur heart is willing, you try your best..but lack the natural ability..everyone is born differently..some people are fast learners some slower..I guess I'm slower but that doesn't mean I can't succeed..just need a longer and tougher time..However, sometimes I have to understand that we all have weaknesses and limitations..yeah people say the sky is the limit..if u have the heart u sure can do it..yes true..it's very positive but we also must be realistic...Noone can do everything..like the chinese saying.."you xin wu li"..have the heart but no strength..

It sounds rather Naive but i want to ride back to the village..their roads are much more dangerous than S'pore..dirt tracks..uneven roads...gravel, sand and mud..if it rains..it would even more dangerous..and im not use to the road culture and road directions too...one advantage is that it's right hand drive same as S'pore..I want to give my friends a surprise visit..Naive isnt it? My parents don't even allow to ride in S'pore..if let's say i pass..nv practice then go thailand ride..equally dangerous..even worst i guess..road conditions not good..if all fails..rent car then..hahaha..naive thinking...actually there's some danger in everything..just how we see things..it's the perspective we see things..

But I don't want to do the things in my comfort zone, I want to challenge myself to try new thingss, to learn motor, to try travelling alone, to do things i'm no good in and enjoy the process..something like that..And i must remember to do everything for God..for Him only..For His Glory! Not for personal gain but for Him alone..need to tune into God's perspective..

2008-02-20T03:06:00.003+08:00

I miss Ban Sookjai...I miss Ban Apa..I miss everyone i met during the 10 days or so i spent in thailand..I miss the village life..the Akha people..their hospitality and kindness..I miss everything i did with them..I miss the friendships we forge..though it's short..it's so memorable and meaningful..I miss life there..2 more years..i will go back...I will for sure..Motorcycle license pls!!! I need it for nuts... 3 more weeks to NS..havent prepared physically or mentally...havent bought anything or made my specs..my heart and mind is just somewhere else now..
I need to get back to normal life again.............2 more years..COME ON!!

2007-05-18T10:24:00.000+08:00

I couldn't believe it..i pass my practical test! I really couldn't believe a person like me could do it.. I really want to thank God for it. All thanks to Him. It's only by his grace and power that can see me through this. Is my driving good? No it's quite bad actually...I'm very careless and reckless by nature and a slow and blur person..I've went through so many failures just to get here..I'm not doing well in school, I'm always the slacker..bo chap kind..I'm always lagging behind people. Amidst all this failures and weaknesses, I thought i just couldn't make it in anything. But I'll always hold on to this promise.."My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12:9 Thank you God.

2007-05-08T18:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why are we so judgemental?..why are we so quick to "jump" at the person when he/she had said or done something wrong? The person may not be wrong but because of our pre-conceive way of thinking..we think it's wrong.. Even if he had said or done something wrong? Why can't we accept it and not mock or show displeasure? I'm guilty..yes I am..

I'm not perfect and never will..I will and still will commit mistakes and fail..Be it silly or stupid ones that people can't imagine..And all that BIG FAT mistakes..why do we always strive to live mistake-free? Everything must be suai suai..nothing must go wrong..it must go according to plan..why? There are so many things that can't be controlled..Do we despise or look down on others because they are not as good as us? Just because they are slower..less intelligent..and make terribly a lot of mistakes? I can't live this life..

Why can't we give each other a second chance or even a third and fourth and more? Why can't we embrace each other's mistakes and weaknesses instead of putting them down? Why can't we continue to trust each other even when we made mistakes? Why can't we believe in others that they can do it? Why are we always so afraid we're not better than others?
Why is our confidence always base in what we can or cannot do? or base on what others say or our achievements? Why can't we accept each other just as we all are?

Last day...

2007-01-31T23:54:00.000+08:00

It's my last day of work! woohoo!...erm..i can say i've more freedom for awhile...at the same time i do miss the place..even though i get frequent scoldings and all that crappy days..but somewhat i miss the surroundings..the customers who appreciate my service..though it's not exactly good hahaha...the chef calling "pick up"!..to pick up the food of course..the staff..the pretty gals dining in the restaurant..haha..i admit the tips..hah...it's kind of good...all in all..just the whole experience..yeap...work opening today..11-6 shift...got my last tips frm there..cash out the last time...haha...it's cool! =p

Then met jo a.k.a mojojojo for dinner...haha it was enjoyable and fun...we ate CENTRAL's manhattan fish market...and LJ..the service staff was very enthu..over enthu i guess...guess they are just too bored coz there are very few customers...oh well..

S'pore won the 1st leg 2-1 against Thailand from a controversal penalty..and the whole Thai team almost did a walk over...oh man i thought the whole team was going to boycott the match..hah..and in my opinion..the referee was too harsh on that decision...it's not an obvious foul..well we won..but it could be done in nicer fashion...

2007-01-18T01:03:00.000+08:00

Just finish work today...i can really feel the fatigue..maybe coz i'm weak..ahah..it rhymes..another typical wed..full shift 11-10...anyway i'm quitting soon..last day would be 31st jan..woohoo! but at the same time..i won't be able to enjoy staff disc..so i'm trying to get as many people as possible to enjoy it with me before i quit..yea...
yest(tues i mean) i had nafa..it was bad...now i understand how weak my body is..and how bad my fitness can be...ahaha..it's alright if i can scrape through for a silver..so no 1 mth early for enlistment for NS...but it's not the case..everything gt at least a D..except standing broad jump! i short of 1cm to silver..how gd can that be? hahaha! but it's alright..i don't mind going in early and i'm lazy to retake nafa anyway...
So met up with jo and her fren freda..hah..and we went to brewerkz to eat and drink...we sampled the pilsner lager and fruit brewz..ok pilsner is not bad...golden is always not bitter so it's alright...and so we ate some food and dessert..and freda kept on complaining abt the food haha..alright she is future chef in the making so it's good...hahaha...had a lot of fun talking crap and this jo high alrdy haha..high without drinking!..it was really fun..haha..and it brightened up my day after a bad nafa performance!

Cheers!

2007-01-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

Had a good dinner! ahah..the food at "hooked", rail mall is good..the fish is fresh and the herb potatoes are nice..and the price is reasonable..what more can you ask?..no service charge ..their service is good too..they greet you when u come in...i'll definitely go back there for sure! tip them 5 bucks ahah..that's all I have in my wallet...hah..anyway the table num is 5 as well..it tallies..there are too 2 new pubs at railmall from my observation..they have wine tasting as well...the pubs serve hoegarden in the big fat glass...there's a new chinese restaurant called "the clap" or sth..and it's business is really good..rockies pizza is very quiet..and this cafe beside the chinese restaurant is packed with people..next time looking for a place to eat and chill out..go to rail mall! ahah..

Then went to tea party for dessert and tea...they changed the layout of the chairs again..it's more cozy and the lights are dimmer..and they serve beer now...hoegarden pauliner and heineken at $5 a bottle..it's very reasonable considering cold storage sells a bottle of hoegarden at 4.55 a bottle..almost the same price..offer last till 31st jan.. so i treated my family to the desserts and tea..must go there once in a while to support them ya..ha..

okay...so 1 week of the year 2007 has passed...it's been great! why? coz i want to be positive in whatever i do...there maybe struggles and problems lying ahead..and there's sch..work exams..attachment..ns and whatever else...but i want to remain positive and have hope!

So lets kickstart the new year!!

2006-12-23T01:47:00.000+08:00

Just drank 2 cans of carlsberg..bitter as usual..heineken is better..which i drank 2 days ago..whatever it keeps me warm in the cool weather..the weather is really unpredictable these days...i'm really feeling very shag from working full shifts...maybe i'm just too weak...weak body...i'm just lazy..i'm darn lazy...Have u ever felt that no matter how hard you try..things would be no different? People wouldn't give a damn too...all people care is the results...like a soccer match..in the end..only the result and outcome matters...if u lose u lose...even if you are the better team..u are still the loser.. as soon as u make a mistake the whole world blames you...they wouldn't give a damn on what you're good at...what am i talking man...rubbish...trash talk...

2006-12-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

My family just came back from China..got some beer in the house to drink..I wish I could go the next time to visit my relatives..well..working tomorrow again..full shift..next week working 4 consecutive days..working on new year as well...my life is a bore..so am I...school and work only...
Sometimes..i've got to learn how not to take things to hard on myself...i've got to tell myself that it's alright..even if things are not going well or right...just tell myself it's alright..things would be better..work harder..try again and bla bla bla...it's a psychological battle...even if you really suck..just tell yourself things will get better..so at the end of the day..we can all move on....easier said than done...

2006-12-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

So what did i do today? my mouse is spoilt..it lasted very long anyway....woke up read the papers...I went to beauty world to eat chicken chop..and after awhile it was raining cats and dogs!It rhymes..my mouth got itchy and i dun feel that full either...so i ordered a plate of char kuey teow..after i finished..the rain stopped! great!
Played badminton with Pi jimmy...it's been quite long since we met up...and we started firing shuttlecocks at each other...fast ones slow ones...quite fun though..played only half a court..but nt even half an hr tired alrdy....gotto play more often with him to improve my skills..
so wad am i going to do tml? erm..i'm nt sure man...

2006-12-14T01:51:00.000+08:00

Common tests is over!!!yayyyy! but i bet i screwed up today's paper..but watever..it's over!!!
Enjoy!!

joke of the day!! ahaha!!

2006-12-01T10:49:00.000+08:00

What is politics?
Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can i ask you a question?
Father: Sure, son. What's the question?
Son: What is politics?
Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me "Tony Blair". Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her "Gordon Brown."
We take care of your needs, so we'll call you "the People." We'll call the maid "the Working Class", and the baby brother we can call "the Future". Do you understand, son?
Son : I'm not so sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it.

That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parent's room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.
The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: Dad, now i think I understand what politics is.
Father: Good son!Can you explain it to me in your own words?
Son: Well Dad, while Tony Blair is screwing the Working Class, Gordon Brown is sound asleep, the People are completely ignored and the Future is full of sh*t.

Isn't it funny? hahahahahahahhahaha!!!!!!!!!! :D

2006-11-30T14:58:00.000+08:00

Christmas is approaching...and there's this song..i can't rmb the title but probably the lyrics..it means a lot to me though...

Christmas isn't christmas till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus
You'll discover when you do...
That Christmas is really Christmas for you

2006-11-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

what have i gotta do? what? someone please tell me....what have i gotta do?..
I'm driving insane......how hard can things be? how many more mistakes am i going to make?! how many more stupid things am i going to do?! how many chances do I have? why can't i get things right? why can't i make the right decisions? why can't i be more bold? pure frustration..insanity...
this blog is useless and it's going down soon....

2006-10-31T02:07:00.000+08:00

Today's tips is not bad..i didn't expect to get that much..oh wells..work is work..i've been thinking about some stuff lately..there's still so many things that i want to learn and achieve...like passing all my modules and graduate with a diploma..getting my license..saving up..coping well with studies and work...play in a band..widening my social circle...improving my health and fitness...trying all sorts of stuff when i still can..when i'm still young...there's so many stuff i want to learn and achieve..there's so any fears i wana overcome..there's so many things about me i wana change..there's so many hopes i wana cling on...
On sunday..uncle David told me this..' As long as you're still alive, there's always a chance'
I know i'm the laid back..slacker..bo chap can't be bothered kind of guy...i know i fall behind many people..I'm not those smart people who have no problems in whatever they do..to catch up with the rest..i just got to work harder..that's the fact...it's reality...
For now..my life is just work school..work and what else? schoollolol...i'll try my best to keep sundays free from nw onwards.....if i got to work my ass of on fri and sat coz my manager kind of forced mi to...so be it..i lost my social life..alright..it's okay..it's been this way a long time.....

2006-10-22T04:06:00.000+08:00

Been out the whole day..1st to nanda's hme for deepavali lunch..the food is very nice..and it's a good gathering for everyone since we din see each other for quite a while..then headed to harbourfront to celebrate soon yee's b.dae..woo..went to cathay cineplex and watched "death note"..damn tired now..working tml..mon to thurs working..work work and work..i tink i'm just going to work 2 days the following week..sick of work..i forsee more assignments ahead in school..2 to 3 daes a week would be fine..nt 4 or 5..enough man..i noe it's onli 2 modules..but they are not easy...i can't fail anymore..
gonna be dead tired tml..

2006-10-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

The Kooks - Naive

2006-10-19T15:22:00.000+08:00

A boring dreadful Thursday..come to sch for 3 hrs of lesson..end sch at 5..need to rush to work at 6..i'm sure i'll be late..wonder if they will throw me out to Alfresco..I'll probably work dining or runner..boring shit

2006-10-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you wonder why things just always doesn't go your way..or nothing seems to be..and you always can't get things right and well..whatever shit...u can be slow blur..careless..clumsy..or just pure dumb..whatever..just let go of everything...try and try again..so be it..fail and fail again so be it...let everything go...let all tat shit be blown far away by the wind and wash far away by the waves...let it fly as far as the milky way...to the vast universe...

The important thing..is never look down on yourself..don't give up hope..believe in yourself that you can do it...don't let others put you down...don't care about what negative shit people throw at you...just be yourself..what people want to say let them be..they are also not perfect creatures...tell yourself that ur special...why? because no one has the same fingerprint as u!

alright for all that shit...the end =p

P.S : I just drank beer...more tips please!!

2006-10-08T23:34:00.000+08:00

I've have no life..i'm just working and working to kill time and get some money...alright i noe my classmates are having attachment and i have no right to complain hah..but at the end of the day..i still have an attachment to complete too..hah..2 more dreadful modules to complete..studying is like a chore to me...working is to kill time and for money of course...

Besides that i have practically no social life..i'm not doing any interesting stuff...learning anything..trying new things..experiencing new places..not going out much with friends..After completing my course..where am i heading? my results suck badly..wad else can i do besides bme = being me? err..ahah..it's not easy to be me either..by the way..working as a server sux...there's no cashier and u have to prepare some cash and coins for change..u even got to calculate the customer's change..darn..all the restaurant's sales from u is in your hands..and there's a high risk of losing the money..if u give wrong change..lose the money..ur in deep shit..at the end of the day the money must tally..still must have ur own pouch envelope or sth to keep the money safely..there's so many things u need to know..it's my first day as a server..not comfortable wif the POS..damn blur..duno press where and press what..sux la...stop driving for awhile alrdy..can't drive for nuts la..work is taking a toll on me..making sure u must give good service and that the customers are happy and doing well..even hw bad a day u have...handling of money and all that..

I need a breakthrough in life..badly..Just learnt how to play "Tears in Heaven"..actually is not a difficult song to play..but i took a while to learn..slow learner i guess..nt perfect but a least the tune is there..
To me it's difficult to play a full song cleanly and perfectly..a song has different parts and transitions.. fingering must be very stable and consistent..and remembering the sequence of the song..chords..tune..beat is very important..u can always play half-way and NG..so stamina is impt..that's it..

2006-09-21T00:17:00.000+08:00

Seriously..i've nothing better to do...so just blog again..aha..wake up in the morning to loud drilling sounds below me...damn irritating..can't sleep in peace..force to crawl out of bed...read newspapers..cook noodles for lunch...play guitar..trying to create something out of all those stupid scales...which i can nv realli grasp..all the chord..scale theory is too overwhelming..root note..3rd note..5th note..flat 3rd watever nonsense too much too take...i think all these requires the brain to work and react fast...and my brain is seriously slow...
Went cycling around the neighbourhood..came back..rest a while..went for a tired run..seriously I'm lack of stamina..hah..went back home...'revive my bicycle' and cycled to my old neighbourhood Hillview...i noe it's totally demolished..Destroyed!!dang!dang!

All my childhood memories are there...it's all gone!!..what's left is a few stretches of walls..how pathetic..it's a great neighbourhood to live in..a very closely-knitted one..everyone knew each other around...the market people..the econ mini-mart..hawker centre,coffee shops,clinics,bookshops and shops..everything is available.. it's the place where i learn cycling..roller-blading..play catching..hide and seek..had a lot of friends which sadly i lost contact with after i moved house...it's so sad...

Cycling is liberating..it makes me feel so free and relaxed..great stress reliever...

Alright..working again tml..need to learn and master as many things as possible...kind of stressful..but probably better than rotting at hme...

2006-09-20T02:31:00.000+08:00

Just finished work at Brewerkz..work 6-cls...i must say i hate closing..washing of the coffee machine, dispenser, re-filling bottles..washing and cleaning bottle caps..do roll-ups..keeping everything clean and dry and watever else..oh wells..it's part of the job..
While all my classmates are having their attachment..i'm working to kill time and earn money of course...well..the first 2 weeks is training to be a runner..must be clear of where the tables are..there's a hell lot of tables..know the food..and the toothpicks..whether it's medium..medium well..well..well done..spicy..bratwurst..garlic..seafood..bla bla bla..must learn to hold and balance the super large tray of food with one hand..which is damn heavy...must know what food need under-liners..steak knife..teaspoon..table spoon..bla bla bla..
Alright..it's only my 3rd day..i must say is very fast-paced and tiring..still need to get used to all the stuff...new staff like me must do all the sai kang...carry table and chairs around even out to the river side..
All this aside..i tried my first glass of beer for free..is called 'golden ale'..i can say is realli nt bad..it' s not like all those conventional canned or bottled beer like tiger..heineken..carlsberg..baron's etc, which is very bitter..it's very easy to drink..has a sweetness to it..
Work is definitely not easy..but i'll try my best..oh ya and i just wana say thank u guys for my present and the presence..the presence is all i need.. =p
So this month is work work and work...some driving lessons...and i'm so so so relieved that i pass all my modules..nvm the C and Ds or watever..all i wan is to pass all my modules..do my attachment and graduate...guess that's all dudes...

2006-08-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

Yo! my name is zebra..i live in the zoological gardens..I have black stripes, white stripes and a family...one day the zookeeper come up to me and say: " Yo! zebra are you hungry?!" I said "Yes!!"..He took some grass on his right hand and go 'shakey shakey shakey shakey shakey!!!'.

Adapted from

Yo! my name is Jo..i live in the butter factory..I have a wife, a dog and a family...one day my boss come up to me and say: " Yo jo! are u busy?!" I said: 'No' He put the butter on his right hand and go' butty butty butty butty butty butty!!!!'

Alright..if u're wondering wat stupid thing is this..it's the words to a rap..a dumb lame rap...I just feel like putting it up here...

2006-07-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

There's this reality series on MTV called Laguna Beach. Wonder if anyone heard about it. It is a show featuring the real lives of 8 teenagers living in Laguna Beach, California. Alright, it's 4 guys and 4 gals. If u like the O.C, u would probably like this as well, only it's not that dramatic than what the O.C potrays. Rather, it's more laid-back but exciting as well. Laguna Beach is the real O.C man.

I don't know, i guess we all like to know what's happening in other people's lives. Sometimes, there's this yearn to get to know a person better and to be a big part of their lives..you know..their real lives and not just drama. erm..
Well, that's why i feel it's such an addictive show for me. They are around my age and easy to relate to i guess..

After watching the show, it's hard not to envy their lives, haha. They are young, rich and talented people. They live in big houses, drive big cars, have so much fun. It's like such an exciting life they got man. They go to parties in limousines, go surfboarding, eat in cool restaurants. The guys have all the hot gals and the gals got all the hot guys..haha..they are more open people..It revloves around relationships, friendships,parties and all.

It's kinda of weird with cameras following them. They wouldn't be totally themselves and it's kinda weird if they watch the show about themselves. All the rivlaries and gossiping, quarrels etc. All the real-life drama...Nonetheless i enjoy it..

What i like about them is their openess to each other. Expressing what they feel openly. That's probably the western culture. We asians tend to hide our feelings or don't feel that comfortable letting it out, out of fear that we say the wrong thing or some stupid silly thing, hurt other people's feelings, or just simply don't feel comfortable..I think it makes me so unreal ...being too self-conscious of what i'm going to say or do..and i'm guilty of it all the time...

Sometimes, it's weird..we want people to open up themselves to us, yet we don't want to open up ourselves to others. It works both ways doesn't it.

That's the end of the crap..the bottom line is i love this reality show!!

2006-07-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

Sinking deeper
deeper and deeper...deeper and deeper..
deeper and deeper and deeper
cannot resurface....
drowning in the deep blue sea...

2006-06-02T00:06:00.000+08:00

Alright talking about learning classical guitar..sight reading is the worst of worst of all..i can't sight read for bananas ahahaha..kkk..improved slightly already..i could recognise the notes for nuts..err..but not smooth and i can't sight read the timing properly...can't sight read equals staring blankly at the notes and playing duck music....i think i'm better off listening and memorising the timing and sequence of the song rather than tormenting my soul to read black and white dots on the paper...I probably have go back to primary school and learn how to recognise and draw a full rest, half-rest, quaver, semi-quaver and whatever else and go ta titi ta titititi ta..ha coz i simply duno shit about it..lols..
I just have a slow brain and i'm just a blur cock that's why sight reading is such a pain in the ass...alright..i've decided to learn classic again so no turning back..no giving up pretty please!..i know i'm certainly not talented in music but i hope by practicing harder, i could have some standard at least..the reason i want to learn guitar it's just coz i wan to play the music i like to hear...it's a great source of releasing stress and it brings mi to my own world...at least i had learn something about it..no regrets in later life that i didn't get to learn..yup..

that's all the crap for today...

2006-05-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

Finally i'm going to write something after like 2 mths haha...ooo...may it be a longer one..today was a cool day though IS is super duper boring and dreadful in the morning...so when IS ended,I went bac hme to put my laptop and went to meet my mum and crazy sis for sakae sushi..it's been long since i ate sakae..great man haha..thanx to clyve's bus concession..i gt free transport to hme and back to sch..after that decided to go to town to shop..it's been quite awhile since i actually shop myself..it's kinda fun..met a couple of people on the way yup......

Alright,first I went to PS to look for a gift for my fren..walk ard and move on to centrepoint..on the way saw junda..went to centrepoint to get something else and saw hidayah selling her chocolates again..her boss is there so cannot chat..ha...

okay, next stop taka..went shopping for some stuff..got a t-shirt and adidas dry fit..ha..ok now i saw jayshere my working pal from nydc..she's still working there though...since i'm in town decided to visit jo the monkey at wisma atrium levi's...mojojojo!! haha..hahas..hur hur...okay saw her dyed hair for the 1st time...chatted for quite a while until the supervisor interrupted..okay..tt's abt it...went to far east to get a pair of bermudas..

And so i'm rather satisfied enough to go home...i board 174 and oh man i saw huilin hahas...wad coincidence today mon...saw quite a couple of people..alright...then we started catching up..talking non-stop about sch..attachments..work bla bla bla..

A rather satisfying dae indeed...hur hur

2006-03-20T00:23:00.000+08:00

i realised sth and is not that i din realised it be4..is when one bad thing happens..a series of bad things just happen together with it...it happens all together..sometimes all in a sudden leaving u stranded and not even noeing wad happened or wad u've done wrong...if it's not rectified..the series of bad things just gives birth to more and more bad things..and more and more bad things to more and more bad things..and more and more until boom!!!! u just explode and die!...ok wad dumbass theory is this?!?!
solution : solve the damn problem!!! be4 u explode and die!! =x

2006-03-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

what's wrong with mi?! what am i doing terribly wrong?!.. i'm losing the people around mi..worst of all..i dun even noe it...soon and very soon..i'll just lose more people around me...and that's it..

more shit...

2006-03-14T01:04:00.000+08:00

Gasping for air
in a room of despair
almost certain
life will not spare

Choking on smoke
tearing in desperation
is stinging sensation

everything happens
like a flash in a pan
in sinking sand.....

ahahahaha...some shit

2006-03-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

THe bLoOd flows
It never slows..
surging through the brain..
is emotional strain...
yes or no? u ask...
the answer is NOoooooooo! (where's the letter 'b'?)
noob!!!
but you know..
Up is the way to go..
You tried to overcome...
succumbing to fear!
fearless is the word
meekness is all you've left..
It never ends
till you start your trend.....
Hands and legs easing in the air..
to god knows where...
wallowing in self-pity..
wandering in wonderland..
you couldn't understand....

2006-03-08T23:36:00.000+08:00

I'll rise
I'll fall
I'll fail you all.....
We built these cities to stand so tall...
We've lost our walls...
I don't want to lose it, coming down
With the whole world upside-down
I don't have a soul to trust in now
With the whole world upside-down
............
I don't want to lose a common ground
With the whole world upside-down
I don't want to fight about it now
And the world was burning out

2006-02-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

after almost a yr still miss dem!..Ban sookjai peeps..cute gal!! grow up sure very chio! hurhur! =p

2006-02-07T00:47:00.000+08:00

act like can play only la..but can play a bit la hurhurhur!

CRAB!!!

2006-02-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

y is there the word fearless? coz it's derived from fear...adding a less behind means that u fear less but that doesn't mean u don't fear..haha crap
fitness and health are 2 different things..u may have gd fitness but may have poor health..u may have average fitness but have good health..if u have poor fitness, how would i noe ur health? anyway fitness can be trained..so if ur healthy..that's good la!..rubbish!!!
Running everyday, exercising everyday doesn't mean ur healthy and does not mean ur FIT!
likewise, having a seemingly good toned body doesn't mean u are strong healthy and fit..
Swimming many laps doesn't mean ur a good swimmer too..
muscles and bones are 2 issues, having strong muscles does not give u strong bones..having strong bones does not mean u have strong muscles..craaaapppppp!
and knowing how to play musical instruments as in making some music out of it does not mean ur musically incline or talented..
Entering a course like bme doesn't mean ur some smart ass...studying in the 1st class doesn't mean ur intelligent...gt higher psle aggregate and wat shit also dun mean anything for nuts!!!...
fast reflexes doesn't mean fast brain..coz u dun use ur brain when u reflex!!!!
the dumb theory is doing this or being this doesn't mean ur that...oh well...
Is when u grow older that u understand that harsh reality and fact that can't be changed..not that u dunwan..but somethings u got to learn how to accept..
NEeD to LEARN soMe nEw stuff man!!!!!!!ahahahahhaahahahaha

2006-01-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

i tried it's not that i didn't...i wana pass..hu wan to fail?!? i noe i'm lazy to wake up and all that..but i did try to make an effort..i tried..y isn't anyting working out?!!!!! i'm trying and trying and trying..and keep on telling myself that i can do it..i can do it..wtf..
i tink i just couldn't take it and lost my cool on my parents...it's my fault..wateva it's my fault..the things i shouted out are damn rude and bad..hai..wtf man am i doing??!!!!!!!!i noe i dun like him..but it's wrong to shout...i'm just too direct..just couldn't control my temper..hai..wad am i doing????!!!!!!!!i'm just a fool.......

2006-01-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

my results are plunging like the nigera waterfalls..i can't cope in studies..i can't pass stuff...oh man that is terrible! oh man! passing is a problem!..i can't bravely say i can take failure...there are some failures that are difficult to accept..like failing basic theory test..not once but..it's crazy horse!..ok i can take failing wateva modules in sch..it's not about the failure i'm afraid of..is the embarrassment..people would laugh at you...mock u watever la..ha
i've worked my brain the whole nite on bean sprouts or tou gei..forcing myself to learn how sight read..be4 i regret in later life..and ask myself y i can't read tou gei? easy to eat difficult than to read..i seriously hav chronic pain in reading notes..i'll just freeze there for secs wondering wth the note is like anle's freezing jokes...when ppl just see and play continously as easy as elmo counting abc....
lucky guitar onli touches on treble cleff no bass cleff..but certainly it's enuf to kill!!!!! i tink pressing the piano and looking at beans is easier then pressing guitar and looking at beans..it's not cool beans at all! how am i going to improve?! argh..stuck in a pit!!! one ting is i luv trying all kinds of instruments even tho i suck at dem..like trying my frens flute..french horn or trombone..guitar piano..drums..bass wateva..and i haven tried nick's clara the clarinet..hohoho..
would u like to be gd at certain things or everything is soso and not gd at anything?
ans : u would like to be gd and certain things and noe everything else erm haha.. =P

2005-12-29T01:57:00.000+08:00

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!WAKE UP!!!!!!!STAND UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!for goodness sake...

2005-12-17T01:43:00.000+08:00

i'm struggling to wake up for class to the extent that the sch got to send my parents a warning letter be4 i get debarred frm the modules..they are damn pissed..tt's for sure..i duno y i got probs waking up..hai..wth is happening to mi?!?!? i'm alrdy lagging by 2 modules..if any 'debarrment"..if there's tis word..or anymore fail modules means ultimate failure.."how" is the word?!? how on earth am i gg to pass all my modules which is so damn difficult...btw is getting more and more difficult by the sem...how?!!???!!how???!!???
i'm gg to reach the stage that if i start to fail like 1 or 2 more..i must well go NS....tell mi wad must i do..all i wan to do is complete tis coures..just complete..just damn complete it!!!..not even tinking of entering the U like other fellow coursemates do..just completing it!!!!!!
i noe very well that working is nt the main prob..it's my attitude..my discipline that's giving the prob..even if u ask mi to quit working..it doesn't solve the prob..it doesn't...
i guess i'm just immature in my tinking...there's still many tings i haven let go completely..letting go is one ting..letting go completely is another..meaning when ppl touches that part or topic..u dun feel uneasy or sad...can it be that easy? probably u get wad i mean...
went to lazy lizards pub..drank abt 1 and half big size cup of hoegarden...bicardi 151 i guess and burburn..rather tipsy..but still ok..still can shoot 2 bullseye with the darts..which made mi so satisfied and happy...just need to relieve all e stress and everyting...
i gotta beg myself soon to study hard for my common test..not caring about others..they study or nt..or last min is their business..but i just need to pass for nuts!!!!!

2005-12-09T10:42:00.000+08:00

i dun understand why?!?!?! i dun!!!! tell mi...why?!?!?!?

2005-12-06T02:31:00.000+08:00

after today..i start to tink again wad am i worth to others? and start to accept the harsh fact..nvm it's okay..i'm really tired..i'm damn shagged after work and too tired to care anymore...it seems that is a small thing..but wonder if they even care..wad if u were in my shoes..wouldn't u feel the same..anyway i'm used to it...it's not the first time...
i noe i'm not afraid to be alone..but i just hate the feeling of people staring at you being alone..as if it's wrong..like wtf..and obviously who likes to be alone?
sch and work is enough to kill..having to care about other stuff just worsens..i noe i'm lagging behind..i'm not the person that will people would ask for help...coz i seriously need help..and possibly noone would wan to discuss anything about studies to me coz they noe i'm either can't be bothered or not gd at it...and probably wouldn't trust wad i say is correct...i'm trying to improve and catch up.. but hu the heck cares anyway...
I dunwan to care anymore...

2005-11-29T02:33:00.000+08:00

everything seems to be taking it's toll on mi...feeling damn stress and shagged and wateva..jaded..i'm not getting anywhere in my studies and have a great big time understanding stuff..and even so..i've no interest..which is combo..after a tired day in sch..there's still stupid work which could equally kill you..if things don't go well in sch and work..i must have totally 'killed' myself...if don't work how to survive? it's not about xtra allowance..it's where to get the money to use?! even if i din work..it ain't the solution to improve studies either..i noe it..i'm not getting anywhere..mon another boring day..end lessons early and hav work..alone again..can't find anyone to go town wif..tot can go town wif zenn but he wif his gf....sian..i guess i got to be on my own much often ard sch or aft sch..need to get use to it..perhaps even an xtra sem ..alright i ain't bothered to0 much by it i guess..damn shagged...

2005-11-25T02:07:00.000+08:00

today had some outing with my working pals..haha..i said i would organise sth..nt realli smoothly org but in e end we all still met up la huh!..haha..met at PS..got Ah ping(ping jing)..larina(garfield)..clyve..fiona..shuyun..ferdie...k..we had some conflict deciding where to eat..garfield insist fish and co. ..some wan cafe cartel..but in e end we decide on marselle..then walk back to heeren..haha..joanne sam and their fren join us later..followed by zenn and his gf hu join ask for awhile..ooo..okay ate a hearty dinner..tt cost a bomb!!..fine marselle bo hua..then went to play pool..then the gals play the arcade game..ha..all the eating and pool-ing didn't matter..all it matters was the gathering we had... and wif that garfield making the most noise!! and eveyone enjoying themselves..hopefully..haha!! she will nv get to read tis =P...okay i enjoyed it..looking forward to another one..yea..

2005-11-15T02:29:00.000+08:00

PJ's b.dae today haha..enjoy talking to her..very cheerful and bubbly haha..and nice to make fun too..yup..wan to treat her cheesecake but she dunwan..no glitches during work today...Andrew's last dae..after work we were like chasing him ard heeren and the restaurant..even the temp. shop outside heeren selling choc sauce with fruits noe him so well...there's some sort of bonding we have with dem..like they give us choc sauce and fruits..we give dem mudpies..they all help to sabo..haha.. funny sia..his all soaking wet la..andrew is a real nice and steady guy to work with..a lot of gal frens..everytime chee hong la haha..kk..but too bad his gg off...

got 8am lesson in the morning..hope can wake up man..i'm always late as usual..it's been very very long since i went out wif gals..ha..nt including classmates i mean..told some of my frens at my workplace that would org some movie outing and chill out..hmm..just say say only ha..
sian..my life is just sch work..sch work..work sch...work sch...no life man...work so hard..earn so much all the money also "hilang"...malay for lost...duno fly until where..duno spent on wad that it can just be gone by the wind...but it's time to save up...talk onli..easier said than done..expenses are always high..can't be helped..ppl buy so many stuff for themselves..i'm like buying nth for myself..and presents for others...the rest is food transport..gg out with friends..bills..etc..and yet the money can dissapear into thin air...frustration...

Have u eva felt that u have noone to confide or tok to in the late hours of the nite on the phone when ur travelling home alone?...and when u scan ur phonebook and knowing that u have noone to call?...or probably knowing that they are all asleep having exams or ur nt close to dem at all?....quite certain that there is noone suitable to call..u were just hoping for sth..but nothing at all...

2005-11-14T02:22:00.000+08:00

i duno why..i just feel that i've gt some prob connecting with ppl ard me...isit because i close myself too much? isit beacause there is just nth gd abt me? isit coz i've no common interest wif others? no common ground?? or wad? wad am i lacking??? i know i'm lacking a lot..but wad can i do abt it??nth..i'm myself..following the crowd doesn't assure acceptance...but we always tink it does do we?...if ur frens ard u smoke, drink , go clubbing...play tis and tt.. and wateva else..if u don't..u r just like an outcast or sth...
i know i lack a lot as a person...sometimes i wonder wat i'm worth to others...i noe i'm nt the person that will stand out..i'm nt some smartass hu does everyting well and perfectly....probably the opposite instead..i'm nt even smart at all..probably nt even street smart...i'm always lagging behind..i dun mind...last or late to know stuff when eveyone knows it alrdy..ok fine it's alright..i seem to hav probs connecting...i can feel it..i'm nt being sensitive but it's the harsh fact..damn it!!

2005-11-02T02:18:00.000+08:00

i'm so damn sian..gg on msn doesn't help..gt ppl online so wad? also nobody damn care the heck abt u..those hu care sometimes do care would be just the frens u usually hang out wif..which is onli like 5% or less of my list of contacts..maybe writing tis blog would help..i just gonna refrain frm using the f word..but hu the heck would damn care abt reading my nonsense and negative entries..i suppose when ppl read..it is like y tis guy so negative?..hopeless shit...and they get turn off..and probably would nt read again...
but seriously i tink i'm hopeless shit..not that i'm belittling myself..but 3/4 of the fact..when it's kind of the fact..is that i'm hopeless...today some nt gd tings happen at work..stupid customers..i feel like throwing their camera fones or wadeva at their faces..nth beta to do piece of buggers..complain complain..for no gd reason..so old still like tt..haven grow up..they r realli ******* ok i'm refraining...
today junwei was on the van when we go back to work..wif him ard the van sure veri noisy..then he and zenn were toking abt their ex...damn funny the way junwei tok..haha..his veri interesting person...we all laughing away..though his temper is nt that gd and like ah beng kind..haha but he is gd at heart la..even though he is nt schooling and nv concn in studies..can see his smart..
onli very playful...can breakdance..culinary skills nt bad...ha
hearing abt ppl's interesting lives makes mi wan to know dem better..but it also makes mi feel more hopeless...i couldn't understand y i always feel tis way..there's endless struggles..wanting to do someting..duno if should or nt...wondering if it's right or wrong..hoping tis hoping that..seeing ppl ard u being so much better than u...hoping u could be like tt..but it seems that u never would..couldn't stand urself but ur like that..not seeing any sign of improvement...wanting to try out many things..afraid to try...hai tired of typing..
just f my life...

2005-10-30T01:53:00.000+08:00

things ain't gg well today..duno hw the heck it happened..who's fault mi? i duno..but guess the onli way to just let it go...let it go for nuts ben!!!!..just wonder sometimes why all the stupidiest and most unexpected tings happen to mi..wad did i do wrong to deserve it? sometimes i even ask wad even did i do wrong to be like tt?
all i wan to be is a steady person..getting tings rite..doing dem well...y can't it just happen? no it can't..yes..everyone's bound to make mistakes..but i seem to hav endless limitless amt of dem..by the way..there's just some tings in life that u can't afford to make mistakes..take for example..driving a car..riding a bike..one mistake and it may cost u ur life..crossing the road..committing a crime...
i'm sick and tired of my life..my uncountable weaknesses are just holes for ppl to punch in...ppl just laugh and put u down or wadeva coz they can't stand it..coz dey can't understand hw on earth u could be like tt and wadeva...
i dunno hw put it..but i just need the bare minimums as a person to live a proper life...hai..read grace blog she wrote she felt out and all tt...i understand..it sux too much...i feel it too...
sometimes..out of nth i wish something terribly terrible happens in my life..so terrible that i'll wake up somehow..
~struggling wif life~

2005-10-29T04:00:00.000+08:00

went to sch for summer sch "gathering" todae..hoping for some B to sort of proof to myself that i'm sth in studies..ha gt C instead..4get it..anyway can pass is gd enuf..considering my calibre..i tink i'm nt gg to care anymore of how others are so much better than mi in so many uncountable ways..nt in terms of poor and rich la..my family is average..but in terms of abilites and intelligence..and wadeva..u noe wad i mean..just 4get it..i dun give a damn..alright i'm e onli blurry foolish student hu failed 2 modules..when my whole course ppl didn't hav fail in their vocab...just heck la..
put studies aside..work was kind of fun todae though i hate fridays..
todae first time dae work hotside runner wif wai leng..usually she cashier i runner..haha..she ah..duno wad to say..haha..gt attitude..gt character la haha..but fun to work wif her..andrew cashier..he cashier steady ah..steady guy..hah...and the rest too..
then saw jiajun and a gal frm my pri sch whom i obviously hav no idea...wan to giv dem dis but andrew 4get..ha nvm...
later thru the night..guess who..PJ came to eat haha..procyon GL!! woo! haha..kind of happie..so long nv see her..then chit chat wif her and her frens..damn funny ah..haha..tis time gt giv dem disc. ha..k
it's alwayz cool to see frens u've nt seen for a long time..and chit chat..and hav fun...guess todae kind of lucky yea..
halloween tml..haha all the deco are arranged and hung up..woo cool man!!..but i'm nt dressing up..ha..working 1-7 tml..yeap..just looking foward to meet somemore peeps i've not met in a long while..

2005-10-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

All I need now is self-confidence...believing in myself that i'm some sort of useful on this earth...hmm..simplE? nah..perhaps yes..but me..far frm it..i can tink of multiple multiple weaknesses, inablilites,vulneribilities, physically,mentally,emotionally,spiritually and wadeva else..but i just seem to have a huge problem of tinking of anyting gd that i can do..or even do properly..someone please save mi!!!!..none of the circumstances are hinting mi that anything is going to go well and better ..give thanks in all circumstances yea..i wish i could do it as easy as ABC and 123...i wish i was born to be positive in almost and certainly anything i do..some people are very positive people..hmm..reality is terribly harsh..

one thing is when u lose confidence..u'll start to doubt everything u do..u start to doubt every word u say...the usual firm and strong words of 'yes' and 'no' become i dunno..i'm nt sure..i'll consider...think abt it..bla bla..u would start to take things hard on urself..and it's harder to let go...if words of discouragement ,criticism,insult or wadeva bad are blown to ur face..u will feel it very strongly..simply coz u believe in it..facing the music would be a long road...sensitivity would be high...self-awareness would be increasing..mood swings are inevitable..u will start to tink that sometimes being alone in the dark doesn't matter anymore..unable to shine among people doesn't matter as well..being incompetent ard others..being the odd one out..not the person that people would care abt all doesn't matters..it seems that all doesn't matter..when actually it matters so much..u have dreams and aspirations like any confident peep have..but u dun believe in 'impossible is nothing' theme..maybe u believe in 'just do it'..can then can..cannot then forget it..there maybe many more feelings and stuff..but ultimately..all u wan is to get out of the sucking quicksand..and not sink anymore deeper..before u get swallowed by it and it's too late..u just wan to be all of the opposite...

2005-10-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

today MI exam..tis time i studied for it..at least just enough to pass la..forcing myself to study at mac yest..anyway it's OVER!!! went to meet up wif te,jh,dave and zhanhui..zhanhui's b.dae today..went to eat the yuki yaki at cine..eat until damn full..we play zong ji mi ma..lose eat ice-cream..all campur-campur..wad sia..eat untill stomach ache..but veri fun..seldom get to eat wif dem...then later meet up wif bert and hong to buy sy present..then go play pool at bukit timah..tt's all abt it..go hme...lazy to type e details..

i just feel like jamming in a studio..jamming everything out..jamming out all frustrations... making noise..even if it's chicken & duck noise..LOL..at least i can hold the guitar..play simple chords or some power chords to rock the room...i just gt a big fat problem of playing a song perfectly..and another problem of remembering how to play the song...wif no wrong chords and wadeva wrong...just wrong.. wad's e point of learning a musical instrument if u can't play beautiful tunes and wad u love to hear? wad's the point if u can't even play a song properly and correctly? The onli possible ting i noe i could do on e guitar is play chords..just just chords..i can't read notes..i'm nt gd at tabs...i duno how to to lower or bring up the pitch of the song..or u call tt transposing or dunno wad...i even suck at tuning the guitar...i can bravely say that i'm nt musically incline..it's onli that i'm able to move my fingers and press on the 6 strings of the guitar..

Learning tis instrument can be so frustrating..so damn frustrating that i just dunwan to play it..but it can be so satisfying when u learn sth new...it gives u some sense of achivement..
howeva, i'm just stuck in a pit..i dream i could be playing on stage,singing..jamming wif a band..wif almost perfect play.. a good voice..wif the lead guitarist playing the riffs..the bass guitar.. the drums..the rhythemic guitarist strumming..the cymbals clashing...the distorted guitar sounds..acoustic rock guitar..the power chords..bam bam bam!!!
it's just a dream...that will nv come true...

2005-09-30T03:29:00.000+08:00

wad's happening to mi? lack of self-control..doin tings that are nt gd..and seemingly think that is okay..when it's nt..tis kind of lifestyle is like so shuang..but risk of getting addicted to it..is it gd? nope..i'm alrdy like so sucky in everyting..and screwing up everything.. and watever else...just stating less to comfort myself..and yet doing more things to harm myself.."yi du gong du" ah? crap ah..hah..du si zi ji ah! screw up studies..work..relationships with ppl..wateva else too...totally crappy life i'm living...
if u r stupid..u must work hard to pass or do okay..if u r lucky u do well..unlucky u do soso...worst of all u fail la!

if u r intelligent..u dun need work hard also can pass or do okay..even do well..if u r lucky u get A's as easy as 123...unlucky u get B only la..worst of all also C la!

if u stupid nvm..u blur also.. combo killer..BWG...just prepare for e worst! sometimes u try so hard just know that ur still like that..sad man..super sad case =(

if u r intelligent..then u blur..nvm la...aiya blur also wun blur until where la..e most %0.01..or else y call intelligent?

but if u stupid+ blur+shy...then i dunno liao..hai~~ i also dunno how...if onli i knew....

pls forgive mi for my crap..coz i'm totally lost rite nw...2 weeks of summer sch..hai~

why..

2005-09-23T04:48:00.000+08:00

damn la..can't jump over the damn railing..wtf la..i'm such a failure..so simple ting also cannot do..jump also dun dare use all my strength to jump..u can call it phobia..wtf..damn it man..ben ah ben..where to put face sia? hai..y am i so scared of tis and that..i'm nt a man..i'm just weak..just f...do it la..but i can't..phobia..everyting also phobia..wtf..i alrdy overcome 2 of my childhood phobias..still gt so many left..never ending..damn it..if i got courage..i confirm jump down frm the bridge to the river in thailand like in you're beautiful mtv..also won't die..won't die but dare or not?!? no..argh!!!!..why?!!?!!!

2005-09-12T02:23:00.000+08:00

aFter reading several blogs..i start to have mixed feelings..suddenly life seem so daunting..i begin thinking of my own life..what am i doing? where am i heading? what is it that i gotta change to move on?Why must i be this way? my life is not that bad..neither is it colourful..it's boring..and i'm kind of boring person...what am i good at? what is it good in me that people can see?nth..the world doesn't acknowledge ppl who is ordinary and boring..or u can say damn ordinary...perhaps my life is like tt...just gotta accept it...I need to be positive..no matter wat..I wish i could always be..dunno y i'm saying all these but i just feel like crapping it out..
it's PS paper later..i lost 15% cos i nv did the presentation..and some % for not handing up labs..Mdm Tan warn mi if i fail again..that's it..i'm expelled..she even called mi for lab-test..actually i feel she's a very caring lecturer..she nv teach mi but she still bothers to call.. i don't know why i don't feel any sense of urgency..i don't feel worried at all..it's a sort of fail then fail feeling..not giving up but..not afraid to fail..it's nt that i mug like mad and i'm super confident..in fact i din even memorise just read thru the notes..study a bit then play guitar then study a bit..then flip thru indonesian dictionary..then stop..my small sis can testify..LOL..i just need to pass this module..it's not that i wan to fail..but i'm not a little worried..tt's kind of weird..but dun need to make a big deal out of it..just do it...

2005-09-02T02:01:00.000+08:00

Damn this few daes soar throat..then now a bit of flu and cough..mon tues work..wed damn tired..still must study for CMB final test..tried to study but nth went in coz damn tired ...thurs work again..okay no work on weekends..fren's b.day..must celebrate.. exams coming up..stress sia..never attend lectures for 2 weeks or more..everything dunno..i not feeling like working next week..but stupid manager say at least 1 day..full shift..okay whatever la..lols..but no matter wad must work..no work no money..no money no honey..hmm..haha..but work already money gone so fast..okay tt's all man.. ~shagged~

sat-ur-day

2005-08-28T01:45:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 12+..damn tired..can't open my eyes..played soccer the day before...nv exercise for quite a while..suddenly kick 3 matches that last 20min each..wah..really no stamina...my fitness is real bad man..i admit...lose 1 draw 2..okay bad score..seriously i noe i can't play soccer..but my class have so few ppl who kick..so they need me...what to do..just kick lo...go town with frens in the aft to look for fren's present..look around and roughly know what to get for them..today saw a few bands performing gigs outside far east and along orchard...ha..quite cool ting yea..wish I could play to a standard where i could perform somewhere...or at least jam in a studio..hmm..but it's a futile wish...i can't play the guitar or drums well..i dun have gd music background..i started by picking dem up myself..then learn a bit from others..frens or frm parent's frens..but i really wish i could play well and get to the mood of music..perhaps i dun have e talent or fast and steady fingers...wish i could find a few people to go to the jam studio..and learn from them..i guess my wish is just a wish..okay when to work at 6....just start work..so bz..okay it's saturday..expected..gt so many customers standing at entrance...then gt to show them to seats..then so many orders to take..time flies faster today as there are a lot of people..do till 11pm...dun wan do closing..will be damn tired man..the customers so many sia..saw ailing and fellow bme jiehui..they come my workplace to eat..lols..long time no see her..she also nv go canoeing already...lols..just like me..okay..then went to batok kopitiam eat.....lols

2005-08-28T01:41:00.000+08:00

jjc pic...lols

mon. blues

2005-07-25T22:21:00.000+08:00

went to sch as normal..i was late but it didn't really mattered as today i got back part of my CT results..darn! failed MI..okay..i'm not surprised but i really hoped i could pass..okay 4get about this..at least my programming showed a drastic change..was happy with my results..at least i did much better..PDP1 prac. went to edge the board..then wait for it to be ready..damn i cut my own board!!! ..damn stupid man! can't believe i'm so dumb...there was 2 parts to the cutter and i tot the knife in front..wth..but it's behind..then redo again..wth..what on earth was i thinking? nowadays getting more sensitive about every mistake i make or the things i do and say...it's like i'm trying so hard to do things properly and not make mistakes..getting things right..but things aren't working out..also getting more sensitive about what other people say..i can't stand myself !!!argh!!!!..one of my most hated feelings is making stupid mistakes..again again and again...all i wish i was just a bit more intelligent or street smart...i don't need to do well in studies, sports, music or whatever even though i wish i could but at least smart enough to handle things,simple tasks and situations.....that's all..is that too much too ask for?
Okay..all this is blown out after staying inactive here for a while..All these stupid crap...

....

2005-06-25T00:57:00.000+08:00

dumb and dumber..i'm dumber than dumb..dumber than dumber..i'm dumbest...wad is all these dumb words..i'm just dumb ..dumb dumb dumb..nobody's gonna believe a dumb..dumping his whole life being a dumb..rather just being a dumb than showing that ur not a dumb when ur a dumb..who can be more dumb?

sianzzz...

2005-06-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

today whole day stay at home..WTH..i'm damn pathetic la!!..actually suppose to swim..in the end nv...want to play tennis....in the end nv..also never go town walk walk..catch movie or do sth la...at least get out of the hse..the fact is i didn't...dunno find who to go out..pathetic la!!..gone case la..
but... yesterday was damn fun...went to si yan hse..celebrate bihan's b.dae and the rest of the june ppl..matthew anle and fidaus..cool man..we bought 2 cakes 1 to smash face 1 to eat..cool man..i smash the cake to bihan's face..then all start smashing liao..wahahaha..so fun..then next was dunking into the pool..no one was was spared la..haha...then go back the hse..bert make martini for all of us..then the rest play Dota..or ps2 brought by shin..i just hang ard then go up stairs play with siyan dog..hahaha..'King' woo!..then play guitar with matt..matt pro la..i CMI..haha..but it doesn't matter coz at least we could play one song together..which is 'the reason' he play lead guitar..i just strum the whole song..LOL..cheers! lol..did nt stay over..took a cab back with bert..it was really fun..wish there would be more of this...

suai mak mak..

2005-06-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

Volleyball day...play volleyball in sentosa and make some new frens..go home watch "ren yao da pai qiu"..cool..suai mak mak volleyball team rox..damn funny and nice..haha..even though they are ren yao..we should learn to respect them yea...this movie rox! woo!! =)

start of 3rd week...

2005-06-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

School starts at 9 today..set my alarm at 7.30a.m but switch it off and went back to sleep..lols..damn sleepy..haha...sleep until 9.30..my mum start nagging at me to wake up..bo pian must wake up and go for that stupid MI prac reach sch at 10.30..hah..but it doesn't matter la..very frustrated over the prac and the teacher...at least by the break.. gotten rid of this dumb prac..after break.. join the H1 H2 class for programming..teacher touch on functions..i macham forget a lot of things..but after asking people how to do the 1st question..i sort of remember the method...and the 2nd question was kind of easy..submitted online..and done! woo..PDP1 prac seems smoother too la..i guess..i hope..lol..the wires very thin..difficult to strip..manage to finish in time..solder them down the board..phew! and test with multi-meter..teacher say got sound that means got connection..no short connections..quite relieved..got to bring toolbox home..sian arh..veri tin tei..the locker i booked don't know which stupid person use it..then i also dunno anybody from the other class..how to share locker with them? that's the problem of having different class..this sem... everytime one person around..go home myself..quite lonely la..but must independent..all in all...today quite okay day la..

2005-05-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

refill water here..we share the water with the thais..they put large blocks of ice in there..woo!!

2005-05-31T23:41:00.000+08:00

songkran festival..woot!!..the water guns are not meant to spray other ppl..they are meant to spray our teacher in the "mini bus"..woohoo!!!!..

2005-05-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

err..nice..

2005-05-31T23:03:00.000+08:00

The village...

2005-05-31T00:54:00.000+08:00

my buddy in crapping laughing and causing trouble everywhere..hahaha..

2005-05-31T00:53:00.000+08:00

i'n nerdy

2005-05-31T00:51:00.000+08:00

hmm..act cute haha..

2005-05-31T00:50:00.000+08:00

His really good in soccer..thailand's future soccer star..hahaha =p

2005-05-31T00:47:00.001+08:00

outside the temple..haha.. =)

2005-05-31T00:47:00.000+08:00

woo..

2005-05-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

they simply rock!!

2005-05-31T00:34:00.000+08:00

trip to the some university park..lols

sEnTosa

2005-05-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

Suppose to meet my friends at harbourfront mrt at 9am in the morning...actually want to go church..hai..end up both also cannot wake up..12 wake up then go sentosa meet them..when i reach there..it was like going to rain..but heng nv rain la..only dark clouds..met them at palawan beach..then we all play volleyball..really fun playing ..we join others to play too..then swim around..we played until about 5pm then go off..went to the hawker to eat..damn hungry nv eat the whole day..junxian and jiaxin say very sian don't want to go home..want to go town..so jiong huei zhanhui and we 3 go town walk walk..ting en say he very tired so he go home...everyone was tired..not so lively..very sian..we just walk ard..take neoprint at heeren..lols..go taka kinokuniya..ha..seriously dunno wad to do..then go home..hah..not bad day la..lols..dunno wad to say also..another week of school coming up..hope everything would be fine..

damn..i'll just quit pool..that's it

2005-05-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

I was at home the whole morning today..suppose to meet ting en and junxian 3.30pm at je mrt..i told them i was gg to be late..so met them at cityhall mrt instead..met jiong huei there too..sian..contacts damn blur..can't see anything clearly...fed up..so 4 of us just walk around..go suntec carrefour buy drinks and sit down outside the entrance to talk...talk and talk until ting en sis call..demanding him for mp3 player..ask him to go home and give it to her..wth..is damn unreasonable!..so ting en went home..jiong huei go band..sian..left 2 ppl..ting en later go eslewhere..sian..his sister is too much la..wa lao..if i were him..i wun care..go all the way back home just to give mp3 player..nonsense man..madness..then junxian and I go BK eat..after that go home change my stupid contacts to a new pair..seriously dun like this contacts..maybe i'm not gg to wear after i finish using..

Then went to meet wenhao and yonghong to play pool at bukit timah..hai..my pool gone case la..dunno is my hand SPOIL or i just can't play anymore la..damn fed up..irritated with myself..coz keep on lao cue..my hand put veri stable liao still like that..i realli dunno wad's wrong..hai~~~~ last time also don't have this problem..everything so smooth..simple balls won't miss..difficult balls also can go in..and nv lao cue..gt confidence..can play so much better..hai~~now like shit..no feeling..everytime lao cue..lost confidence..wth..i'm just gg to quit pool for nuts la..i dun need to play well..i just need to stop having lao cue..that's all..that's all..y like that? everything's just not turning out rite...studies..sports..fitness..morale low liao..i'm just not competent enough in practically everything..

okay i must seriously do something about myself..before everything goes down..must look at the brightside man..tml gg sentosa..yay!..need to chill out!!! gg play volleyball..long time nv play..woohoo!

end of 1st week..

2005-05-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

wadsup! wads down! it's fry day..woo..that means weekends are coming..hmm..wad's so excited abt it huh?..hah..today got practical at block 80....quite boring..go in the lecturer explaining wad safetly rules and show us a video..then show us this and that..then it was maths lecture..just copy the solution the teacher write on the transparency..she let us of early...went canteen 2 eat with matt nick and bert..then meet yonghong..i have 3 hr break crazy day la..my classmates have 2 hrs and they have lesson at 2pm..i at 3pm with them coz my time-table different..they all camping in the classroom..clyve go gym..he ask mi help him in bench press at the other gym..but too many dragon boaters infesting the gym..i go snack bar use laptop..sian la..then saw clyve at bball court..i feel like playing but no confidence liao..damn long nv touch the ball..lols..just watch..then all went lesson..i one person nth to do go sports hall see if can join ppl to play table-tennis or badminton...just walk in onli andrew call mi..he playing table-tennis with his fren..he say he tired after gym liao..so i play..hahaha..his fren nt bad..play with him very fun..feel like smashing everything out..release everything hah..but must friendly..or else no fun..but sometimes buai tahan just whack it down the table..yeap we play for about and hour..but i still feel no enough..last time primary school so addicted..play 3 or 4 hrs play until bell ring also don't want go assembly...then go lesson.. use msn chat..nv learn anything..just install software..then the lecturer say can leave early..yea!later do pull-up with clyve..seriously can't pull anymore..lol..then go market eat with bert..took 61 then saw jiajun wenyun and aaron..primary sch frens..happy to see them..they say gg westmall..so i just join them along..woo..we go burger king talk talk..then go home..hmm..yeap..hope can have a nice time this weekend...

social psychology..hmm..

2005-05-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

sch starts at 1pm today..not bad la..can wake up late..today is IS day..have 4 hrs of IS of the same topic..and that is social psychology...hmm..a topic that relates to everyone of us..better than wad insights to india which i'm gonna take after this module ends.....even though it's 4 hrs..i find it nt that bad la..the teacher nt bad too..not too boring and the class are a good bunch of people..nice to mix around too...after lesson..went to atrium to print timetable..saw some procyons..andrea angela..alvin and teresa..very happy to see them..my time-table different frm my class..some lessons must join the other classes..sian..but nvm la..just get use to it..my mum talk to me abt a lot of stuff today too..hope i'll get something out of it..hmm later got champions league final liverpool and ac milan..woo! must watch! i hope liverpool win..but ac milan is strong..let's see..

start of sch...sian

2005-05-24T21:53:00.000+08:00

A new sem..start of sch again..it's damn boring ..wonder wad i'm doing in sch for..today did not bring anything to school..just myself..and unwillingness to step into sch..even though with the year 1's coming in and new faces all around and perhaps chio bu's to see..lols..i dun feel any excited ..dunno why today kind of moody..i don't feel like talking much or making noise..
and i just realised that my lessons are with different classes..onli I different..PP2 wih h1h2..electro prac wif h2..sian..i still prefer my g1 class..i just don't feel like socializing with them..they all 1 clique..then i 1 person..feeling sux..nth to say to them also...maybe i anti-social la..but i just feel so sian la..lols..everyday practically ends at 5pm la..i seriously need to buck up and better nt fail or do too badly again...after sch met up with soonyee yonghong and eng ghee...yonghong keep complaining his class no gd..sorry for him too la..1 gal onli and malay somemore..haha..we went to play table-tennis at sports hall until the floorball peeps come in for training...boring dae la...hope i can tahan until weekend man...

monday blues...

2005-05-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow starting sch already..start to feel the stress..the pressure of studying..the pressure of spending cash and all that..it's year 2 somemore.. can't play anymore..2nd sem never do well..gotta repeat module during year 2 2nd sem..anyway it's next yr's business..so gotta study harder this sem..can't slack too much..holidays end so fast..i feel it's too fast..i never even work during holiday...today went to meet up wif happy 10 frens to play badminton at clementi sports hall.. 6 ppl went to play...we went to play arcade first..hmm dunno y today play like no mood play badminton...i nv use all my strength la..coz cannot so hiong la..if play with jimmy then can throw everything at him...every smash..every drop..every drop of my strength to vent all my frustrations..coz he always can hit it back...hahahaha..we went to eat tang yuan after that..then junxian jiaxin and junjie go lot1..laura walk home..jiong huei go home too..pity him..he live so far..punggol..then come meet us..then me and ting en go westmall walk ard...then buy bubble tea sit down talk...walk home after that...we both seriously damn broke..no money man!!!lols...i realli hope that this sem..things would go smoothly or say rather smooth..hai..i seriously hope la..i just can't do well in enginneering stuff..nt incline to it..maybe i'm just dumb or wad la..sometimes feel very stupid and dumb...can't get things rite..when everyone can do it so easily..ur struggling with it..and ppl just can't understand how u feel..it's so discouraging..the feeling sux completely..but i just gotta accept the fact tt i'm like tt la..wad to do...just hope things would turn out right..

at suntec..

2005-05-22T20:30:00.000+08:00

sunday sundae sunny day...today went to joanna's church new creation at suntec..we were suppose to meet at 10.15a.m at city hall mrt..end up we both late..lols..but she later la..hahaha..ask mi not to be late but she's late herself..hahaha...msn too much liao la.. =p
okay she owes mi a treat...hehe..so we walk to new creation to meet her other fren..she say chio..hmm her fren quite good-looking la..hahas..but taken..we waited for the 1st service to finish then we go in...felt a bit weird la..maybe not use to it..go in sing songs..they all like very emotional when they sing..the musicians very gd..then came the sermon..i listen but occasionally close my eyes..very sleepy la..haha..then caught this jojo sleeping...haha..msn somemore la! hahaha..yeap so after the service..her fren went carrefour..then this jojo meeting her fren at fareast..lols..ps me!!..haha..then i go long john eat my lunch..quite sian la..one person eat again..after that go hme sleep..woo..veri tired arh..this is my sundae todae..

toa payoh dae...

2005-05-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

Met up with yonghong and bert at bukit timah hawker centre for lunch today..woo! we were planning to cut our hair at toa payoh..quite far but don't care la..went there once..hmm not bad la..we took 157 to the place to cut hair..we spent quite a long time there...i cut my hair and dye RED..woot!..yonghong just cut his hair..bert did some treatment..gt two gals cutting their hair there too...one quite chio la..haha..then we 3 ppl keep msging abt them haha..if wan to ask their no. ..but in the end nv la..hahaha..the chio one had her hair done..and was sitting beside yonghong..haha..I best view!! I just look at the mirror can see liao...haha...
kk..then after that we walk to toa payoh central..waha..infested by JC students...mainly 2 JCs la..HCJC and TJC..all the biege and green uniforms walking abt..still have some anderson and st andrews ard wahaha..best! got a lot gals see..haha..we wondered ard wondering why are there so many JC students..until we realise..they were having some bball competition at toa payoh sports complex....woo! cool beans...onli saw the VJC bball gals team..hmm..they are tall man..the other 2 teams nv see...then took 157 to jurong pt..waha..wonder ard again then go home...dunno why head a bit heavy..feel veri tired or sth...reach hme damn hungry..wallop all the food...today nt bad day la... =)

BoRIng lone3ly dAe..

2005-05-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

i'm just darn bored today la..nth to do so just create blog 4 fun..also dunno how to blog..damn sux at this stuff..hmm today went with ting en to find job..damn fed up la.. shaw towers then in the end is shaw house..go wrong place nvm..in the end found out the job for ladies..wth
waste my time and money...then ting en go sentosa.. i went to find hui ting's workplace at chinatown..sian..one person wondering around chinatown..thought can eat luch wif her..but she busy..hai..then eat lunch myself...sian...then after that go westmall wonder around...and walk home...damn lonely day la..reach home so sleepy..use com shortwhile..then take a nap..sleeping veri late nowadays...gonna be panda or i'm alrdy one la according to that hui ting la..hahaha..i think that's all..dON'T KNOW wad to write also
~sign off~